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  • Leopoldo Alejandro Betancourt López Turned Ocean Plastic Into Profitable Sunglasses

    Leopoldo Alejandro Betancourt López Turned Ocean Plastic Into Profitable Sunglasses

    Few fashion accessories carry the environmental burden of sunglasses. Most frames are constructed from petroleum-based plastics and acrylic polymers that linger in landfills for centuries, shedding microplastics into soil and waterways long after they’ve been discarded. Leopoldo Alejandro Betancourt López, president of the Spanish eyewear brand Hawkers, saw this problem differently than most industry executives.

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    Leopoldo Alejandro Betancourt López

    Leopoldo Alejandro Betancourt López

    Few fashion accessories carry the environmental burden of sunglasses. Most frames are constructed from petroleum-based plastics and acrylic polymers that linger in landfills for centuries, shedding microplastics into soil and waterways long after they’ve been discarded. Leopoldo Alejandro Betancourt López, president of the Spanish eyewear brand Hawkers, saw this problem differently than most industry executives. Rather than viewing sustainability as a cost center or a marketing gimmick, he treated it as both an ethical obligation and a business opportunity.

    Hawkers launched in 2013 with a €300 investment from four university friends in Elche, Spain. Leopoldo Alejandro Betancourt López entered the picture three years later, leading a €50 million funding round and assuming the presidency in November 2016. Under his direction, the company expanded from a scrappy e-commerce startup into an international brand selling more than 4.5 million pairs of sunglasses across 50 countries. But Betancourt López wasn’t satisfied with growth alone. He pushed Hawkers to rethink what its products were made of and where those materials came from.

    Pulling Profit From Pollution

    The H20 collection, launched as a limited-edition capsule line, marked Hawkers’ most ambitious sustainability initiative. Each pair of sunglasses in the series incorporated plastic waste recovered directly from ocean waters. The company collected tens of thousands of plastic bottles that had been polluting marine environments and transformed them into functional eyewear. The name itself referenced water, signaling the collection’s origins and purpose.

    “We always have been conscious about sustainability, and we know that the market is shifting toward that direction,” Leopoldo Alejandro Betancourt López said. “Everyone is getting more conscious and wanting to understand how the product they buy impacts their life, but also the world and environment as well.”

    Hawkers didn’t stop at the frames. Both the frames and lenses across all six H20 models use materials designed to minimize planetary harm. Some models feature bamboo-based biodegradable compounds combined with recycled plastics. Others employ biodegradable acetate or plant-based co-polyesters. The lenses themselves break down into biomass, carbon dioxide, and water when disposed of properly. Even the packaging received an overhaul: the typical plastic wrapping was eliminated in favor of recycled paper tape, and the carrying pouches were fabricated from ocean-recovered plastic bottles.

    The Business Case for Sustainability

    Skeptics often assume that environmentally conscious manufacturing erodes profit margins. Leopoldo Alejandro Betancourt López has argued the opposite. When he joined Hawkers, the brand carried a valuation of approximately $60 million. After implementing sustainability initiatives alongside aggressive expansion into retail and international markets, the company’s worth climbed past $100 million, with annual sales exceeding that same threshold.

    The economics of sustainable eyewear reflect broader shifts in consumer behavior. The global sunglasses market reached $39.9 billion in 2024 and is projected to grow to $58.8 billion by 2033, according to IMARC Group research. Within that expansion, sustainability has emerged as a significant differentiator. Roughly 12% of new sunglasses lines now incorporate recycled or bio-based frame materials, a figure that continues to climb as younger buyers prioritize environmental responsibility.

    Hawkers recognized this shift early. The company built its reputation on selling designer-quality sunglasses at a fraction of luxury prices—frames that might cost €20 to €25 compared to €100 or more from competitors like Ray-Ban or Gucci. Adding sustainable materials to that value proposition strengthened rather than diluted the brand’s appeal. Customers weren’t just purchasing affordable eyewear; they were buying into a set of values.

    “We know from first-hand experience how to revolutionise the eyewear industry,” the company stated when launching the H20 line. “So, we also recognize that—having become market leaders—it’s also our responsibility to lead by example by promoting sustainability.”

    The decision to abandon acrylic—a thermoplastic that takes years to decompose and produces harmful microplastics during degradation—proved central to this repositioning. Leopoldo Alejandro Betancourt López directed the company toward alternatives including bamboo-based biodegradable materials, biodegradable acetate, and recyclable carbon compounds. Manufacturing shifted in-house, with production facilities operating in Spain, Italy, and China, allowing tighter control over material sourcing and quality.

    Meeting Demand From Eco-Conscious Buyers

    Consumer preferences have moved decisively toward products that align with environmental values. Market research indicates that brands prioritizing sustainable materials and ethical manufacturing practices resonate strongly with younger demographics, particularly millennials and Generation Z shoppers who treat purchases as expressions of identity. Hawkers built its customer base precisely among these groups, using influencer marketing and social media campaigns to reach college students and young professionals.

    The H20 collection addressed what many in this demographic consider non-negotiable: transparency about environmental impact. Each element of the product—from ocean-recovered plastic pouches to biodegradable lenses—told a story buyers could share. Knoji, an independent review platform, assessed Hawkers products as both ethical and sustainable based on evaluations from environmentally conscious shoppers.

    Hawkers also expanded its One Eco line, featuring models like the One Eco Polarized Green, constructed from bamboo-based biomass combined with recycled plastic. These frames carry TR18 lenses with excellent optical quality and durability while remaining environmentally responsible. Polarized options provide UV400 protection and anti-glare properties, ensuring that environmental credentials don’t compromise performance.

    Beyond the Product: Rethinking the Supply Chain

    Sustainability at Hawkers extended past materials selection into manufacturing infrastructure. COVID-19 exposed vulnerabilities in global supply chains, prompting Leopoldo Alejandro Betancourt López to reconsider the company’s dependence on external suppliers. Beginning in early 2021, Hawkers invested in building an in-house production facility, ramping output from 30,000 units monthly to 90,000 units. This vertical integration allowed tighter oversight of environmental practices throughout the production process.

    The factory uses high-end Italian machinery, with molds costing up to €80,000 compared to roughly $10,000 for cheaper Chinese alternatives. These polished molds create shiny and matte finishes through injection molding rather than painting—a distinction that matters for sustainability. Chinese competitors often rely on paint or stickers for surface effects, which contaminates materials and prevents recycling. Hawkers’ approach enables the company to recycle defective raw materials directly into new production batches, eliminating waste that would otherwise reach landfills.

    “We believe that pollution and deforestation are major factors contributing to global warming,” the company stated, noting that Hawkers sees itself at a tipping point regarding environmental responsibility. Owning production facilities meant the brand could control not just what materials entered the supply chain but how waste was handled at every stage.

    Scaling Responsibility Across Markets

    Hawkers now operates in more than 50 countries, with offices spanning Hong Kong, Barcelona, Mexico City, Los Angeles, and Elche. Mexico alone accounts for 35-40% of sales, driven partly by sponsorships with athletes like Formula 1 driver Sergio Pérez. Across these markets, Leopoldo Alejandro Betancourt López has pushed the sustainable product lines as core offerings rather than niche experiments.

    The company maintains over 60 retail locations, primarily across Spain and Portugal, alongside robust e-commerce operations that still generate the majority of revenue. Each channel reinforces the sustainability message. Online listings highlight eco-friendly materials, while physical stores allow customers to examine the quality of bamboo-based frames and recycled components firsthand.

    Leopoldo Alejandro Betancourt López has described environmental responsibility as inseparable from long-term business health. “You have to use all the tools you have in marketing, creativity, reinvent yourself constantly,” he said regarding the challenge of maintaining relevance in fashion markets. Sustainability functions as one of those tools—a way to differentiate Hawkers from competitors while addressing genuine consumer concerns about planetary impact.

    The numbers suggest this approach delivers results. Hawkers has sold more than 4.5 million pairs of sunglasses globally, with the brand generating over $100 million in annual revenue. Facebook featured the company as a marketing success story, citing an 86% increase in engagement and 51% return on advertising spend. These metrics reflect not just effective promotion but a product that resonates with buyers seeking both style and substance.

    For Leopoldo Alejandro Betancourt López, the H20 collection and broader sustainability initiatives represent more than corporate responsibility checkboxes. They demonstrate that environmental consciousness and profitability can coexist—that pulling plastic from oceans and transforming it into fashionable eyewear creates value for shareholders, customers, and ecosystems alike.

     

    The post Leopoldo Alejandro Betancourt López Turned Ocean Plastic Into Profitable Sunglasses appeared first on Green Prophet.

  • Learning to Feel Safe Resting After a Lifetime of People-Pleasing

    Learning to Feel Safe Resting After a Lifetime of People-Pleasing

    “Rest is not idleness, and to lie sometimes on the grass under trees on a summer’s day, listening to the murmur of water, or watching the clouds float across the sky, is by no means a waste of time.” ~John Lubbock

    For years, I thought exhaustion was a sign I lived fully and did my best that day. I felt proud of being exhausted. I squeezed every bit out of the day, and there was nothing left.

    If I felt tired, I pushed myself to do just one more thing. It was always just one more thing. If I needed …

    “Rest is not idleness, and to lie sometimes on the grass under trees on a summer’s day, listening to the murmur of water, or watching the clouds float across the sky, is by no means a waste of time.” ~John Lubbock

    For years, I thought exhaustion was a sign I lived fully and did my best that day. I felt proud of being exhausted. I squeezed every bit out of the day, and there was nothing left.

    If I felt tired, I pushed myself to do just one more thing. It was always just one more thing. If I needed to lie down, I scolded myself for being weak. Around me, it seemed everyone else could keep going—working late, saying yes to every request, holding it all together, and getting everything done.

    So I pushed harder. I drank more coffee, ignored the pounding in my chest, and told myself I’d rest “later,” as a reward. And when that later finally came, I was so exhausted and empty, all I managed for myself was the easiest available comfort food and plopping down in front of the TV.

    Deep down, I wasn’t just tired from doing too much. I was tired from being someone I thought others needed me to be. I gave my everything, and nothing remained for me.

    I was tired from people-pleasing.

    When Rest Feels Unsafe

    People-pleasing is often misunderstood as kindness, but at its core it’s a survival strategy. Psychologists call it the “fawn response.” When fight or flight aren’t possible, some of us learn to stay safe by appeasing others—saying yes, staying agreeable, avoiding conflict at all costs.

    This might protect us in unsafe environments, but over time it takes a toll. The body stays on high alert— scanning for others’ needs, monitoring their tone of voice, ready to jump in and smooth things over.

    In that state, rest doesn’t feel like an option.

    When I tried to pause—sit quietly, lie down, even take a slow breath—my body rebelled. My chest buzzed with tension. My throat tightened, as if rest itself were dangerous. Doing nothing felt risky, as though someone might be upset or reject or abandon me if I wasn’t useful.

    So I stayed in motion. On the outside, I looked capable, dependable, “good.” On the inside, I was running on fumes.

    The Cost of Never Stopping

    When rest feels unsafe, exhaustion becomes a way of life.

    The body breaks down. I developed a stress knot in my shoulder, poor posture, and constant fatigue.

    The mind spirals. Anxiety grew louder, whispering that I wasn’t doing enough.

    The heart aches. Saying yes when I wanted no left me resentful and empty.

    I thought if I could just be more disciplined, I’d manage. But discipline wasn’t the problem—my nervous system was.

    It had learned, long ago, that slowing down invited danger. So it kept me on guard, pushing, performing, and erasing myself—all in the name of safety, belonging, being approved of and perhaps accepted.

    Realizing Rest Is Part of Healing

    The turning point came when I read about trauma and the nervous system. I learned that exhaustion and restlessness weren’t proof that I was lazy or broken. They were survival responses. My body wasn’t fighting me—it was protecting me, the only way it knew how.

    That realization softened something inside. For the first time, I saw my fatigue not as failure, but as evidence of how hard I’d been trying to survive.

    If my body could learn to see rest as danger, maybe it could also relearn rest as safety.

    Gentle Practices for Making Rest Safer

    The change didn’t come overnight. But step by step, I began inviting rest back into my life—not as laziness, but as medicine.

    Here are a few things that helped:

    1. Start small.

    Instead of trying to nap for an hour, I practiced lying down for five minutes. Just five. Long enough to notice my body but short enough not to panic. Over time, those five minutes grew.

    2. Anchor with touch.

    When rest stirred anxiety, I placed a hand on my chest or stomach. That simple contact reminded me: I’m here, I’m safe.

    3. Redefine rest.

    I stopped thinking rest had to mean sleep. Rest could be sitting quietly with tea, staring at the sky, or listening to soft music. It was anything that let my nervous system breathe.

    4. Challenge the story.

    When the inner critic said, “You’re wasting time,” I gently asked: Is it wasteful to care for the body that carries me? Slowly, I began rewriting that story.

    What I’ve Learned

    Rest still isn’t always easy for me. Sometimes I lie down, and my chest buzzes like it used to, urging me to get back up. Sometimes guilt whispers that others are doing more, so I should too.

    But now I understand: these feelings don’t mean I’m failing at life. They mean my body is still unwinding old survival patterns.

    And the more I practice, the more I see rest for what it truly is:

    • A way to reset my nervous system.
    • A way to honor my limits.
    • A way to reclaim the life that people-pleasing once stole from me.

    I used to believe safety came from doing more. Now I see that safety begins with stopping.

    Closing Reflection

    If you’ve ever avoided rest, told yourself you couldn’t afford to relax, or felt guilty when you tried, you’re not alone. Many of us carry nervous systems that equate worth with usefulness and safety with exhaustion.

    But what if the truth is the opposite? What if rest is not indulgence but healing? What if slowing down is not selfish but necessary?

    Rest may not feel natural at first. It may even feel unsafe and bring up feelings of panic, pressure to get going again, or a sense of falling behind. But with gentleness, patience, and compassion, the body can relearn what it once forgot: that it is safe to stop.

    You are not weak for needing rest. You are human. And in a world that pushes constant doing, choosing to rest might be the bravest thing you can do.

    About Maya Fleischer

    Maya Fleischer is a trauma-informed coach and certified Compassion Key practitioner who writes at Unfold Consciously, a gentle space for healing emotional patterns and listening to the body’s wisdom. She offers a free 5-Day Audio Journey for Sensitive Souls that includes daily voice notes and practices to support self-compassion and nervous system healing. You can explore it here: Unfold Consciously – Free 5-Day Journey.

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  • Oil pollution in Basrah’s soil is 1,200% higher than it should be

    Oil pollution in Basrah’s soil is 1,200% higher than it should be

    Soil pollution levels in parts of Basra are 1,200% to 3,300% higher than those typically measured in cities like Toronto or New York, according to new comparative soil data. It’s getting into water.

    The post Oil pollution in Basrah’s soil is 1,200% higher than it should be appeared first on Green Prophet.

    A boat sails past the Umm Qasr port near Iraq’s southern port city of Basra. (AFP)

    A boat sails past the Umm Qasr port near Iraq’s southern port city of Basra. (AFP)

    Soil pollution levels in parts of Basra are 1,200% to 3,300% higher than those typically measured in cities like Toronto or New York, according to new comparative soil data. It’s getting into water.

    When ExxonMobil quietly returned to Iraq’s oil fields, signing new agreements tied to the Majnoon field and surrounding infrastructure in late 2025, it was framed as a story of stability. Security concerns once deemed too great were now manageable. Production would rise, pipelines would be upgraded, and jobs would follow.

    While the US company promotes its renewed developments in Iraq to extract oil from a field known as “Majnoon”—Arabic for “crazy”—located roughly 50 miles from Basra, a city of five million people, no press release mentions what oil looks like when it enters a glass of water.

    Within a five-mile radius of Basra city, oil operations are dominated by the Iraqi state-owned Basra Oil Company and international partners BP–PetroChina at Rumaila and Eni at Zubair. ExxonMobil’s former operations were located farther north and do not sit directly adjacent to the city itself.

     

    A map of the oil companies operating around the residential city of Basrah, Iraq

    A map of the oil companies operating around the residential city of Basra, Iraq. GREEN PROPHET.

    “There is oil in the water, and it’s in the soil. Half of my mother’s brothers—six of them—have cancer, the youngest being 40, with leukemia. This has become normal now. We know that the oil fields just outside Basra are polluting our water and soil, but what can we do?” asks Sara (name changed), a young environmentalist I met in Istanbul.

    She asked to remain anonymous, saying it would be dangerous to speak publicly. Pointing to a map, she showed where some of the world’s largest oil companies—such as BP and Eni—are drilling close to city limits in Basra, indicating areas where cancer rates are highest. She said no local researchers will touch the subject that children in these areas are dying from leukemia. She knows some of them.

    “I sent my sisters to study in Istanbul so they can be far away from this pollution,” she told me, pointing to her sisters we are sitting with at the shisha cafe.

    “We know that there are high levels of levels of cancer in Basra and it’s known that oil is in the tap water. Of course I don’t clean my dishes with the water but we do use it for clothes and showering. Farmers use the water even though it’s not safe. Don’t clean dishes. Children living next to the oilfield in the area of Rumalia, with estimates of cancer being 20% higher than the rest of the country. Some kids are living within a mile of the oil drills which is not normal.”

    Rumaila is known locally as the “cemetery” for the high rates of cancer and disease among the population, left in the dark without resources despite supporting the lucrative oil fields nearby.

    Rumaila oil field houses a population of x, it's a half hour drive to Basra

    Rumaila oil field houses a population of several thousands, and it’s a half hour drive to Basra. This area is primarily known for its massive oil field and the surrounding communities in the Basra Governorate. Estimates suggest around 7,000 to 10,000 residents in the immediate villages are served by local health clinics. It’s known as a shadow town because it is cut off from basic services and also for it being a living cemetery due to health problems from oil pollution. The oil field itself employs a large workforce of approximately 8,200 people, most of whom are Iraqi nationals.

    Rumaila oil field houses a population of x, it's a half hour drive to Basra

    Rumaila oil field houses a population of about 8,000.

    “Children living next to the Rumaila oil field get cancer,” says Sara. “There are babies being born with cancer. My friend works at the government owned chemical company that processes oil. Her 5 year-old sister died of cancer. She was playing outside and fell on her eyes when they found the tumor. She died a year later.”

    The Majnoon Oil Field is a super-giant oil field located about 60 kilometers from Basra in southern Iraq. It is one of the world’s richest oilfields, with estimated reserves of roughly 38 billion barrels.

    The Majnoon Oil Field is a super-giant oil field located about 60 kilometers from Basra in southern Iraq. It is one of the world’s richest oilfields, with estimated reserves of roughly 38 billion barrels. Its name, Majnoon—Arabic for “crazy”—refers to the unusually high concentration of oil in a relatively small area.

    How do people in Basra cope? It is a mix of avoiding drinking the water and giving up. The water is still used to wash clothes, clean dishes, shower, and water gardens.

    Cancer is no longer whispered, it is assumed.

    The BBC has reported extensively on soaring cancer rates in southern Iraq, particularly in Basra, where decades of oil extraction, gas flaring, industrial runoff, and war debris have combined into what doctors describe as an environmental health emergency. While doctors point to gas flaring, our source says oil contamination in water and soil may now be the greater concern. Flaring can be reduced around city centers (although data shows that is it only growing in Iraq), but oil that has entered soil and groundwater remains.

    The BBC reported: “For health reasons Iraqi law prohibits flaring within six miles (10km) of people’s homes, but we found towns where gas was being burned less than 250m from people’s front doors. A leaked Iraq Health Ministry report, seen by BBC Arabic, blames air pollution for a 20% rise in cancer in Basra between 2015 and 2018.”

    Sara says flaring and pollution continue despite the laws, while government agencies and universities turn a blind eye to the health impacts. She also says oil company employees sent to Basra are exposed to dangerous conditions, often late in their careers, and later receive large pensions due to prolonged environmental exposure.

    A location map of the Majnoon Oilfield in southern Iraq

    A location map of the Majnoon Oilfield in southern Iraq (after Al-Ameri et al., 2011). Via
    ResearchGate

    Doctors interviewed by the BBC describe pediatric cancer wards overwhelmed. Leukemia, breast cancer, and rare tumors appear at rates far beyond global averages.

    A 2025 study examining soil around Basra found pollution levels 1,200% to 3,300% higher than those typically measured in cities like Toronto or New York.

    Average TPH levels ranged from 8 µg/g (dry weight) in agricultural areas to 265 µg/g along roads. During the wet season, levels reached as high as 340 µg/g, as rain drives oil residues deeper into the soil rather than removing them.

    The study concluded that oil refineries are the main source of soil contamination, with additional pollution from vehicles, fuel stations, power generation, and oil infrastructure.

    For context, Canadian soil safety standards, used in cities like Toronto, set acceptable levels far below the hundreds of µg/g measured in Basra.

    Another 2024 study found elevated TPH levels across Basra’s major oilfields, including Majnoon, Rumaila, West Qurna, and Al-Zubair, exceeding thresholds associated with human health risk

    Iraq’s oil sector includes BP, Shell (formerly Basra Gas Company), TotalEnergies, ENI, Lukoil, CNPC, and PetroChina, many operating through state partnerships. Gas flaring remains widespread.

    World Bank gas flaring data

    World Bank data shows gas flaring in Iraq continues to increase. 2024 saw the highest rates in 12 years.

    According to the World Bank, Iraq ranks among the world’s top gas-flaring countries. These emissions settle into lungs, groundwater, and the bodies of children.

    “It’s not safe to grow up there anymore,” says Sara.

    Government employees in Iraq are currently banned from speaking publicly about pollution from oil fields.

    The post Oil pollution in Basrah’s soil is 1,200% higher than it should be appeared first on Green Prophet.

  • Are You Highly Emotionally Reactive? You May Be Stuck in Survival Mode

    Are You Highly Emotionally Reactive? You May Be Stuck in Survival Mode

    Survival mode is supposed to be a phase that helps save your life. It is not meant to be how you live.” ~Michele Rosenthal

    Childhood is the most cherished time for many. However, nobody gets to adulthood unscathed. We all go through incidents with our friends, family, and at school or otherwise that leave us feeling emotionally bruised or scarred.

    Growing up in a household where my parents were busy raising three kids and working hard to better their economic status, somewhere along the way I felt neglected. Not that they did anything intentionally, but I was often …

    Survival mode is supposed to be a phase that helps save your life. It is not meant to be how you live.” ~Michele Rosenthal

    Childhood is the most cherished time for many. However, nobody gets to adulthood unscathed. We all go through incidents with our friends, family, and at school or otherwise that leave us feeling emotionally bruised or scarred.

    Growing up in a household where my parents were busy raising three kids and working hard to better their economic status, somewhere along the way I felt neglected. Not that they did anything intentionally, but I was often plagued, even overwhelmed, by feelings of being misunderstood, lonely, not good enough, and generally not deserving.

    It was only after years of people-pleasing, choosing a wrong master’s degree, and climbing the corporate ladder with a great job that the suppressed feelings erupted like a volcano. The result? It made me physically sick with allergies, constant body aches, and rashes that didn’t allow me to sleep, pushing me to a complete breakdown.

    That’s when I realized that my body was trying to talk to me. It had been giving me warning signs since childhood.

    I used to cry a lot, and hence was called sensitive. I was often sick, and my parents called me a “weakling.” I would scream and shout or just shut down and recede into my room. Either way, they told me to not be so reactive. It became a vicious cycle of feeling overwhelmed and then hating myself for not behaving in a normal way.

    Back to my breakdown in adulthood, lying on the floor sobbing, I decided that I wanted to quit my job and pursue psychology. It wasn’t an easy ride from there, but nevertheless studying this subject helped me answer why I was the way I was.

    It turns out I wasn’t overreactive or sensitive at all. I was in survival mode, and my body and mind perceived everything as a threat. My body tried to keep me safe from anything remotely different by putting me into a fight, flight, or freeze state. My mind was generally hypervigilant of others’ moods and reactions. So, my body didn’t know how to relax, and it was exhausted over the years.

    Our bodies are designed to tackle threats and then move back into a relaxed mode. However, when our minds are unable to process, regulate, or tolerate huge emotions, they go into an “always on guard” mode to protect us. However, the protection turns into our own enemy when we can’t turn off the alarm bells, and we end up living with anxiety.

    The cherry on top is that we often live in this state for so many years that it starts feeling normal and comfortable. We then crave drama and attract friends and partners that trigger us, only to go into a tailspin, which keeps us feeling emotionally charged.

    But there’s a way out. It takes effort and courage to rewire our mind and body to function optimally and to live a more fulfilling life, but it is possible.

    Everybody’s journey is unique, and we must all find out what works best for us. However, here are a few things that worked for me. I sincerely hope that they might be of help if you resonate with my experiences.

    1. Remind yourself that you can handle whatever happens.

    When we’re in survival mode, we create unhelpful stories in our heads and forecast the worst possible outcomes as a means to keep ourselves safe. The key to releasing our fear-based need to protect ourselves is accepting that we can’t control everything. No amount of worrying can ensure that nothing hurts us.

    All we can do is address what’s within our power and then consciously choose empowering thoughts. Remind yourself that even if things don’t work out as you planned, you can handle it, and you’ll be safe.

    2. Rewire your brain through awareness.

    Regularly ask yourself if your thoughts are creating your emotions or your emotions are creating your thoughts. You’ll be amazed to realize that our mind creates statements that cause us to feel a certain way.

    For example, if a friend doesn’t respond back to a text/call, you might make up stories about how maybe you said something to upset them or that something is wrong with them, and that elicits emotions in you accordingly. If you think they’re just busy, you’ll feel differently. So practice becoming aware of your stories so you don’t go into panic mode over thoughts that likely aren’t facts.

    3. Scan your body.

    Your body speaks in subtle ways. Always check in to know how you are really feeling. Is there tension somewhere? Is your heart beating faster? Is your jaw tight? When you’re curious about your physical sensations, you’ll start to recognize when you’re emotionally charged from reacting to a perceived threat. This enables you to proactively calm your nervous system—perhaps through deep breathing, petting your dog, or getting out in nature.

    4. Be compassionate toward yourself.

    It isn’t an easy journey, and you must be compassionate toward yourself. You’ve done your best to survive, and now it’s time to become conscious so you can thrive.

    About Chaitali Gursahani

    Chaitali works as an Integrated Living Coach and is an ardent mental health activist. She believes that mental health is as important as physical health and to grow as a whole, we must integrate the two. She writes on mental health regularly on her website www.themindcurry.com.

  • Explore Balat in Istanbul for a perfect day of coffee, cats, and second-hand clothing shops

    Explore Balat in Istanbul for a perfect day of coffee, cats, and second-hand clothing shops

    Balat is not a neighborhood you would visit in the standard tour to Istanbul. If you want a real taste of Istanbul and the people who live there, wander around a smaller craftsman, artisan, coffee shops and second hand clothing shops on cobblestone streets in the neighborhood of Balat.

    The post Explore Balat in Istanbul for a perfect day of coffee, cats, and second-hand clothing shops appeared first on Green Prophet.

    A street cat lounging outside Naftalin Kafe in Balat, Istanbul

    Cats rule Istanbul and are clearly in charge at Naftalin Kafe, Balat. Photo by Karin Kloosterman

    Balat is not a neighborhood you would visit on a standard tour to Istanbul—the kind that shuttles you between giant mosques like Hagia Sophia. If you want a real taste of the city and the people who live there, wander a smaller neighborhood. Balat is my favorite for its cobblestone lanes, record shops, cafés, second-hand clothing stores, colorful stairs, textiles and towel shops—and the cats. Cats rule Balat, and much of Istanbul.

    View toward the Golden Horn from Balat, Istanbul, with fishermen along the water

    Be prepared to lose yourself wandering around this village-like part of the city. I’d spend half a day in Balat, much of it in wanderer mode. This is one of Istanbul’s most quietly enchanting quarters, where cultures overlap not as a museum piece, but as a living, breathing fact.

    A vintage shop in Balat near the historic synagogue

    A vintage shop in Balat not far from the synagogue.

    For centuries Balat has been home to Jews, Greeks, Armenians, and Muslims, and that mosaic still shapes the streets. You’ll pass the Ahrida Synagogue, Orthodox churches, and modest mosques within minutes of each other. Unlike grand Sultanahmet, Balat’s diversity feels intimate and domestic—it’s history at human scale you can still touch and feel. Homes and cafés are built among crumbling walls and old fortifications, and the vibe among the people is good. As my Uber driver said arriving in Balat, “In Istanbul we love our cats, and hate our mayor.”

    Flags and laundry strung above a narrow Balat street in Istanbul

    Balat has recently become a magnet for vintage lovers and collectors (some say it happened when Coffee Department opened in 2010), but it hasn’t lost its edge and grit.

    Find old record players spinning Turkish tunes, bent silverware, Anatolian rugs, colorful caftans, postcards, rusted tools, and ceramic cups poking out from tiny shops that are halfway between a flea market and a time capsule. We saw men dancing in the street and attractive local couples (lovers?) having intense coffee conversations in the late sunny morning—on a weekday.

    The prices in the second-hand clothing shops are not what they once were (here is our old guide to second hand clothing shops in Istanbul around Istiklal street), but the items are well-curated. And the second-hand shops in Istanbul will still offer you eastern garb such as cloaks and overcoats, plus colorful wool sweaters. The stairs and buildings in Balat are colorful too.

    Colorful stairs and homes in Balat, Istanbul, leading to small shops and cafés

    Balat is known for its colorful homes and staircases leading to handcrafts and markets

    The joy of being in Balat—or in Istanbul in general—is not ticking off addresses and sites of interest. It’s letting curiosity pull you down side streets where eye contact can lead to a conversation.

    A colorful home facade in Balat, Istanbul

    Three Cafes Worth Lingering In

    Velvet Cafe – A Balat institution. Mismatched furniture, plants everywhere, and the feeling that time has agreed to slow down. Looks like a place to join a revolution—or start one.

    Velvet Cafe in Balat, Istanbul

    Velvet Cafe, in Balat

    Naftalin Kafe – Nostalgia perfected: old family photos, radios, and Turkish coffee that tastes like it belongs to the room. Cats rule the café. Notice our top photo taken recently outside Naftalin on one of the main tourist streets, where the cat is telling the waitress who to serve next.

    Cafe Naftalin in Balat, Istanbul, with a street cat nearby

    Cafe Naftalin in Balat, Istanbul. Stop here for a vibe check and pet a cat. He’ll insist.

    Coffee Department in Balat – A more modern stop with excellent coffee, popular with locals and creatives without breaking the spell of the neighborhood. Believed to be the café that opened Balat up to becoming a prime tourist destination.

    Coffee Department café in Balat, Istanbul

    Coffee Department, Balat, Istanbul

    This is cat country, and humans know it. Cats lounge on stoops, café chairs, shop counters, and car hoods with total confidence and airs of superiority. They do let you touch—on their terms. Bowls of food appear mysteriously. Some cats even drop down on a rope from the sky (or the top-floor apartment). People have built cat houses for their furry friends, and non-profits exist to help foreigners send a beloved Balat street-cat back home with quarantine and papers (see Paws of Hope if you are interested in the adoption process). This is far from the Erdoğan-style Turkey that has called for the culling of millions of Turkish street dogs.

    In Balat, cats are not a feature. They are the management.

    Explore your faith in interfaith

    A neighborhood mosque in Balat, Istanbul

    A Balat mosque

    Balat wears its interfaith history casually. As you wander, the names surface naturally: the Ahrida Synagogue and Yanbol Synagogue, quiet and inward-looking, echo Balat’s once-thriving Jewish life. Then the call to prayer drifts from neighborhood mosques like Ferruh Kethüda, Tahta Minare, and Balat Çavuş; and church bells mark time at St. George (Aya Yorgi), St. Mary of the Mongols, and the iron-clad St. Stephen Church by the water. Holding time are the crumbling Byzantine walls—cracked, vine-covered, and indifferent to faith—reminding you that in Balat, coexistence was a daily habit.

    Follow the slope down toward the historic Golden Horn and you’ll find fishermen casting lines for small fish, chatting here and there while watching the water—and making sure the crows and the cats don’t fish the tiny fish out of the buckets.


    Second hand clothing and vintage shops in Balat, Istanbul

    Ayca Eastern Design vintage clothing shop in Balat, Istanbul

    Ayca Eastern Design, second hand clothing in Balat, Istanbul via their Instagram

    Istanbul is known for its curios and second-hand clothing shops. You will get a taste of it all in Balat as you wander the streets. We came across a few vintage and second-hand clothing shops. The prices were not cheap (a T-shirt was priced around 25 Euros), so if you are in the business of bargain-basement shopping, better shop elsewhere in America or Canada at church thrift shops.

    Ayca Vintage

    Ayca vintage has a great vibe, with African drumming and song beckoning you to come in. We guessed it was the owner who peeked at us from under her hat—cat nearby—journaling. The shop is stocked with vintage caftans and colorful sweaters. She’s taken the selection job out of your day.

    Ayvansaray mahallesi sultan çeşmesi cad. no:83A BALAT Fatih / istanbul

    Owner of Ayca Eastern Design in Balat, Istanbul, pictured via Instagram

    Ayca vintage clothes owner, from their Instagram

    Second-hand clothing and vintage items in a Balat shop in Istanbul

    Second-hand clothing display in Balat, Istanbul

    Ayca, second hand clothing in Balat, Istanbul, Green Prophet

    Twobavintage

    Around the same area is Twobavintage, which stocks mainly kitschy kitchen items and relics from another era. There is a small selection of clothes in the back.

    Ayvansaray Mahallesi Sultan Çesmesi Sokak No 94 Balat

    Twobavintage shop with vintage home goods and clothing in Balat, Istanbul

    Twobavintage second-hand vintage and clothing in Balat, Istanbul

    Kulis vintage

    Expect to pay a pretty penny for thrifted T-shirts and second-hand, western style here at Kulis Vintage. We found the same in Berlin when we were there 2 months ago. Highly curated, high prices—which is the way of the world for curated vintage in cities. Kensington Market in Toronto has been like that for decades.

    Kulis Vintage second-hand clothing shop in Balat, Istanbul

    Vintage items and displays at Kulis Vintage in Balat, Istanbul

    Quiet residential street with older homes in Balat, Istanbul

    Exploring the streets and finding colorful umbrellas and painted stairs in Balat is a must. Some parts are tourist traps, demanding you buy food before you enter. Some coffee shop owners say they have the best rooftop views of the Golden Horn. We can’t confirm.

    We found an excellent towel and blanket shop with great prices. Where you can still find a deal is if you are looking for high-quality Turkish cotton towels. We found a shop, pictured below, where we bought a few high-quality towels for 200 LR each, about $5 USD. We didn’t bother bargaining because the price was fair and the seller was very nice.

    His shop was down the street from Ayca Eastern Design. We didn’t get the full name, so show this man’s photo around the neighborhood and the locals will point out the way.

    Shop selling affordable Turkish cotton towels in Balat, Istanbul

    Off the Path: Working-Class Istanbul

    Another face of Balat reveals itself when you leave the “Instagram streets.” Wander toward Cibali, where workshops still hum—metalworkers, repair shops, small factories—and life feels practical. This is also where you brush up against literary history.

    Portrait of Turkish writer Orhan Kemal, known for writing about working-class life

    Orhan Kemal

    Nearby lived Orhan Kemal, one of Turkey’s great writers of the working class. Kemal was the chronicler of laborers, factory hands, and the urban poor. He worked near the old Cibali Tobacco Factory (today part of Istanbul University), quite close to his former home, and wrote about the very people you still encounter here.

    Former home of writer Orhan Kemal near Balat in Istanbul

    Orhan Kemal home in a working class neighborhood near Balat

    His presence lingers not as a plaque-heavy attraction, but as a spirit. We walked past his modest corner house that holds a plaque to his name. Impressive wooden houses nearby are for sale, and we dream about being a writer from his vantage point in this now-charming location.

    Metalworker in Balat, Istanbul, near Orhan Kemal’s former neighborhood

    Metalworker smiles for Green Prophet in Balat, Istanbul near Orhan Kemal’s old house

    Balat isn’t polished, and that’s exactly the point. It rewards slow walking and making mistakes. Tune into a few landmarks that interest you and wander toward them, noticing what you meet, smell, and hear along the way. On one of our meanderings we came across three schoolboys “cat-napping” a cat in their backpack to take home.

    Schoolboys carrying a cat in a backpack in Balat, Istanbul

    School boys taking home a cat

    We also appreciated that some of the local artisans, like the owner of ilitya, are opening their studios for hands-on experiences. He is a graduate of design school and, unlike the thousands of traditional pottery studios in Turkey, he sells modern functional-ware. Made in molds and glazed in the studio, you can buy—or study and make your own—your choice.

    Modern ceramics workshop in Balat, Istanbul

    Modern pottery and ceramics studio in Balat, Istanbul

    We took a taxi to Balat from our hotel, but plenty of buses and trams run right to this neighborhood.

    Green Prophet’s trip to Istanbul was sponsored by the United Religions Initiative, an interfaith network for peace and reconciliation. Their travel grant allowed us to tour Istanbul’s heritage independently to witness and report on the city’s diversity and heritage.

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  • The Gift of Being Single (More Joy, Less Fear)

    The Gift of Being Single (More Joy, Less Fear)

    “The greatest thing in the world is to know how to belong to oneself.” ~Michel de Montaigne

    Some people fear spiders. Some fear public speaking.

    My biggest fear? That my plus-one will always be my own reflection.

    More and more people are finding themselves in the single life—not because they joyfully signed up for it, but because they’ve quietly resigned themselves to it. Being alone forever is one of the worst things most people can imagine. And yet, nobody’s talking about it.

    I have no interest in bashing men—I love them. And I’m not here to shame relationships—I’d still …

    “The greatest thing in the world is to know how to belong to oneself.” ~Michel de Montaigne

    Some people fear spiders. Some fear public speaking.

    My biggest fear? That my plus-one will always be my own reflection.

    More and more people are finding themselves in the single life—not because they joyfully signed up for it, but because they’ve quietly resigned themselves to it. Being alone forever is one of the worst things most people can imagine. And yet, nobody’s talking about it.

    I have no interest in bashing men—I love them. And I’m not here to shame relationships—I’d still love to experience conscious partnership or marriage one day. But what I am here for is giving a voice to the other side: the reality of singlehood. A reality that has been shamed, underrepresented, and spoken over for lifetimes.

    Yes, humans of all kinds fear being single. I happen to live it in the skin of a woman, but the fear itself is cultural, primal, and deeply conditioned.

    Not a Witch, Not a Spinster, Not a Divorcee

    The stigma of singlehood is sticky and insidious. It convinces people to stay in relationships they’ve outgrown because it’s “better than the alternative.” It whispers that you’re not enough without a partner. And the biggest problem? We have so few role models of people living single, fulfilled lives.

    I’m not a witch. I’m not a spinster. And I’m not divorced.

    Funny story—when I was once applying for a work visa abroad, the form asked me to declare my relationship status. The options? Married. Divorced. Spinster. That was it. Guess which box I had to begrudgingly tick? I still laugh about it, but it says everything: if you’re not partnered, you must be a problem to categorize.

    It’s in Our Bones

    The roots of this run deep. For most of history, women’s survival was directly tied to men—financially, socially, legally. That dependency shaped generations of cultural messaging we all still carry in our bones, regardless of gender. We’ve been taught that wholeness comes from someone else.

    For anyone who has spent long stretches of life single, there’s a peculiar kind of grief that shadows us, not for something lost, but for something never felt. We grieve the idea of intimacy we were promised, the mythical “other half” we were told to need. It’s less about absence and more about a haunting—mourning the story we’ve been handed rather than our own lived truth.

    Maybe Disney messed us up. Maybe it was Jerry Maguire’s iconic “you complete me.” But the truth is, our obsession with relationships is far older than pop culture. It’s centuries old. And it’s led so many of us on a quest for “another” long before we’ve gone on the quest for ourselves.

    And now? The dating industry has taken that centuries-old conditioning and turned it into a multi-million-dollar business model.

    It shows up in quiet moments, like the friend fresh out of a twenty-year relationship who whispers, “What if I never find someone else?” as if that’s the worst fate imaginable.

    Legacy, Good Girl, and the Seventh-Grade Soothsayer

    We may have moved beyond needing a partner for a bank account or a roof over our heads, but inside many of us lives a whole cast of characters who haven’t gotten the memo.

    In my case, they look like this:

    • The legacy-burdened one—the part that still believes worth is sealed only once I’m chosen.
    • The good girl, who doesn’t want to disappoint the family, who smiles politely when someone says, “You’ll find someone soon.”
    • The people pleaser who wonders if they should tone themselves down to be “more dateable.”
    • And the inner child who still remembers the sting of being told in seventh grade, “You’ll never have a boyfriend” and worries, even now, that maybe it was a prophecy.

    Different faces. Same message: You’re not enough on your own.

    Swiping Right on Your Insecurities

    The modern dating industry has taken this centuries-old programming and turned it into a goldmine. Apps, relationship coaches, matchmaking services, and self-help books all thrive on making your relationship status yet another problem to be solved.

    Not long ago, I was on a twenty-four-hour road trip listening to yet another relationship self-help book. This one at least was about “becoming the one,” but even then, the end goal was still to get the partner. Where are the books about deepening your relationship with yourself, not as a prelude to love, but simply to live your damn best life?

    And can we please stop acting like every contrived meeting arranged on an app is a “date”? We used to meet organically in coffee shops or elevators; now we swipe because we’re too afraid to make eye contact in real life.

    The funniest part? Friends in relationships often get more excited about my first meets than I do—as if I’m finally about to be rescued from the great tragedy of my singlehood.

    Love, Yes; Panic, No

    Biology matters. We are wired for connection. We crave intimacy and belonging. This is not about pretending otherwise.

    What I’m talking about here is the fear of being single—the panic that drives bad decisions, keeps us in misaligned relationships, and has an entire industry profiting off our insecurities.

    Rather than pouring all that longing into loving and being loved by one person, we could simply be… loving. Period. Creating a more compassionate relationship with ourselves. Spreading kindness. Offering to everyone the kind of love that heals the world. Because when we’re busy running from the fear that something is inherently wrong with us, we miss our greatest capacity—to love, in every direction.

    The Gift of Being Unpartnered

    Here’s the thing nobody tells you: I can literally do anything I want.

    If there are socks on the floor, they’re mine.

    If the yogurt is gone, I ate it.

    I can book a trip on a whim, sleep diagonally, and never negotiate over the thermostat. Netflix isn’t infiltrated with someone else’s questionable taste, and no one wakes me up in my sleep—except my dog.

    If I’m honest, my unfiltered fear about being single forever isn’t loneliness. It’s choking on a piece of toast and no one finding me. Or never experiencing the kind of deep intimacy and vulnerability I still hope for.

    But here’s the freedom side: I’ve gotten to know myself in a way I never could have if I’d always been in a relationship. I’ve formed an identity that’s mine—unshaped by a partner’s wants or habits. And I want anyone living single to know this is not a consolation prize. This is one valid, powerful way to live. You haven’t failed. Your worth is not measured in anniversaries.

    For me, soulmates show up in friendship as much as romance. My best friend and I joke we’ll probably live side by side when we’re old. Deep connection isn’t confined to coupledom, and that truth is liberating.

    Single By Trust, Not Default

    Seeing singlehood as a radical act of self-trust in a culture obsessed with coupling is… well, radical. And honestly, it’s 2025. We’ve accepted gender fluidity. Sexuality can be expressed on any spectrum you choose. So why are we still categorizing people by relationship status? Why is this still the metric we use to size up someone’s life?

    And this isn’t about some performative empowerment—people determined to prove they’re so strong, so independent, so “I don’t need anyone.” That’s still a posture that defines itself in relation to others. What I’m talking about is living fully for yourself, without apology, without your relationship status being a headline of your life.

    So maybe the real question isn’t “Will I end up alone?” but “Who can I be if I’m not waiting to be chosen?”

    And if you need me, I’ll be training for my next big adventure: walking the Camino trail in Portugal next summer—a pilgrimage powered entirely by my own two feet, my own heart, and absolutely no plus-one required.

    About Andrea Tessier

    Andrea Tessier is a master life coach and Level 2 Internal Family Systems (IFS) Practitioner who helps ambitious, growth-oriented women build self-trust, release perfectionism, and step into authentic leadership. With over six years of experience blending psychology and spirituality, she guides clients to reconnect with their true Self and live with clarity, peace, and wholeness. Download her free Self Trust Starter Kit.

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  • How Menopause Exposed the Hidden Trauma I Spent Years Ignoring

    How Menopause Exposed the Hidden Trauma I Spent Years Ignoring

    “There is no way to be whole without first embracing our brokenness. Wounds transform us, if we let them.” ~Sue Monk Kidd

    Menopause flagged up everything unresolved, unmet, and unchallenged and asked me to meet it with grace.

    I’m not saying it was an overnight thing—more like a ten-year process of discovery, rollercoaster style. One of those “strap yourself in, no brakes, no seatbelt, possibly no survival” rides.

    If I’m honest, the process is still unfolding, but with less “aaaaggggghhhhh” and more “oh.”

    Having mentally swapped Nemesis Inferno for It’s a Small World, I can now look back with

    “There is no way to be whole without first embracing our brokenness. Wounds transform us, if we let them.” ~Sue Monk Kidd

    Menopause flagged up everything unresolved, unmet, and unchallenged and asked me to meet it with grace.

    I’m not saying it was an overnight thing—more like a ten-year process of discovery, rollercoaster style. One of those “strap yourself in, no brakes, no seatbelt, possibly no survival” rides.

    If I’m honest, the process is still unfolding, but with less “aaaaggggghhhhh” and more “oh.”

    Having mentally swapped Nemesis Inferno for It’s a Small World, I can now look back with deep compassion for that younger version of me at the start of perimenopause.  She was the one frantically Googling her way through a vortex of symptoms, never quite able to figure out whether it was a brain tumor or an underactive thyroid gland.

    It all started when I was around thirty-five (for context, I’m now forty-nine). I’d just moved to Brighton from Cheshire to do a degree in songwriting at BIMM and threw myself into it with all the gusto of a twenty-four-year-old; after all, I had it…the gusto, that is.

    That first year was wild, to say the least, but then, the ground beneath me started to fracture.

    My mind would go blank on stage. The keyboard started looking like a fuzzy blob of jelly. My heart would pound through the night for no apparent reason. I gained a spare tire around my middle. I’d walk into town and have a panic attack, clutching the wall of a bank while strangers side-eyed me with pity or concern.

    My libido shot through the roof like a horny teenager. The rage was volcanic, and my poor partner couldn’t even breathe next to me without triggering a tirade (I see the dichotomy too).

    It was a maelstrom of symptoms that even Dr. Google couldn’t unpack, and yeah, neither could my actual doctor, but that’s for another time.

    The real unraveling came when I went on tour with a band at age forty-two.

    It was supposed to be fun-fun-fun, except it wasn’t. It was hell-hell-hell. Ten days, and I slept properly for only one of them. I came home wrecked, assuming that once I returned to my bed and the stability of my beloved, I’d be fine.

    But I wasn’t. That’s when insomnia truly began. I’d ‘learned’ how not to sleep, and now my mind was sabotaging me on a loop.

    In desperation, I booked in with a functional medicine practitioner who ran some lab tests. The results were “low everything,” and that was the first time I heard the word perimenopause.

    I didn’t think much of it at the time—standard denial. But the word lodged itself somewhere.

    Around the same time, I was running a speaker event in Brighton and immersing myself in therapeutic modalities as part of my own healing.

    Music, my first (well, actually second) career, had started to feel more frightening than exhilarating. In my search for calm, I stumbled upon a modality called RTT, a kind of deep subconscious reset done under hypnosis, which changed everything for me and launched me into a new career pathway.

    As I continued learning and applying what I was discovering, a huge lightbulb moment landed:

    “Hang on… A lot of the stories I’m hearing from women in midlife involve more than just symptoms; they involve deep, relational wounds.  I wonder if there’s a link between menopause symptom severity and childhood experiences?”

    So, I turned to Google Scholar to see if anyone else had spotted this link, and sure enough, there it was.

    I came across a 2021 study in Maturitas that found women with higher ACE (Adverse Childhood Experiences) scores were up to 9.6 times more likely to experience severe menopausal symptoms, even when things like anxiety, depression, and HRT were factored in. That blew my mind.

    Another 2023 study from Emory University showed that perimenopausal women with trauma histories demonstrated significantly higher levels of PTSD and depression than those in other hormonal phases. That explained so much of what I was feeling too. 

    And then I found a 2017 paper in the Journal of Clinical Psychiatry showing that women who experienced two or more ACEs were over 2.5 times more likely to have their first major depressive episode during menopause, even if they had no prior history of depression. 

    Finally, a recent 2024 review framed early trauma as a key driver of hormonal sensitivity, especially during life transitions like perimenopause. It helped me see that my struggles weren’t random or my fault; there was something a lot deeper at play.

    But I was still confused. What was the biological mechanism behind all of this?

    Dun dun dah… I found a peer-reviewed paper in Frontiers in Medicine that helped me connect the dots. Take a breath.

    In trauma-exposed women, our GABA receptors become altered. These receptors, which help calm the nervous system, rely on a metabolite of progesterone called allopregnanolone. But trauma can disrupt both our ability to break down progesterone into allopregnanolone and our ability to receive its effects at the cellular level (because the GABA receptors become dysfunctional).

    So basically, that means even if we have enough progesterone, we might not be able to use it properly. The ensuing result is that we become more sensitive to hormonal fluctuations, and we can’t receive the soothing effects we should be getting from progesterone.

    As I began to piece all this together, I was forced to confront something in my own history.

    Because frankly, I thought I had a happy childhood.

    That is, until I came across a concept that stopped me in my tracks. It felt so close to home, I literally clapped the book shut.

    It’s called enmeshment trauma.

    It’s a type of relational trauma that often leads to symptoms of CPTSD (which, just to remind you, tends to flare up during menopause). But the thing is, enmeshment hides in plain sight often under the guise of “closeness.” We prided ourselves on being a close family… too close, in fact.

    I was an only child with nothing to buffer me from the scrutiny of my parents and the emotional load they placed on me. They’d confide in me about each other as if I were their best friend or therapist. I didn’t know it then, but their lack of emotional maturity meant they were leaning on me for unconditional emotional support. I was a good listener and a very tuned-in child.

    I became parentified. Praised and validated for my precociousness, while being robbed of the ability to safely individuate. I was “allowed” to find myself, but the price I paid was emotional withdrawal from my father, equally painful as we’d been so close.

    It was confusing and overwhelming, and I had no one to help me metabolize those feelings. It wired me for hyper-responsibility, anxiety, and guilt. Not exactly the best recipe for a smooth menopause transition, which requires slowness, ease, and softness.

    As a textbook “daddy’s girl,” I unconsciously sought out older men, bosses, teachers, even married guys. Their energy felt familiar. Meanwhile, emotionally available prospects seemed boring, even if they were safer. That attachment chaos added more voltage to the CPTSD pot I had no idea was simmering under the surface of my somewhat narcissistic facade.

    The final ingredient in this complex trauma marinade was a stunted ability to individuate financially. I was still clinging to my parents’ purse strings at age forty-four. The shame, frustration, and despair all came to a head when I dove into the biggest self-sabotaging episode of my life:

    I decided to leave my long-term relationship.

    He was my rock and my stability. But “daddy’s girl” wanted one last encore. And when he refused to take me back, despite my pleading, it was a mess. But, in a twist of grace, my father had taught me grit. How to get out of a hole. And that’s exactly what I did.

    I learned to stand on my own two feet financially. I learned the power of committing to one person and treating them with respect. I learned to set boundaries and become deliciously self-preserving with my energy, because that’s what the menopause transition demanded of me.

    And if it weren’t for those wild hormonal shifts, I’m not sure I’d have learned any of this.

    Through my experience, I’ve come to see that menopause isn’t just a hormonal event. It’s a complete life transition, both inner and outer. A transition deeply influenced by the state of our nervous system and our capacity for resilience and emotional flexibility.

    For those of us with trauma, this resilience and flexibility is often impaired. Hormone therapy can help, yes, but for sensitive systems, it’s only part of the puzzle. And sometimes, it can even make things worse, especially if not dosed correctly.

    As sensitive, trauma-aware women navigating these hormonal shifts, there’s so much we can do to support ourselves outside of the medical model.

    Slowing it all down is one of the most powerful ways we can create space for the ‘busy work’ our bodies are diligently undertaking during this transition. Gentle, nourishing movement. Yoga Nidra. Early nights. Simple, healthy meals. Earthing and grounding in nature. Magnesium baths. Dry body brushing. Castor oil packs. Vaginal steaming. Think: self-care on steroids.

    But perhaps the most radical thing I ever did was to carve out more space in my diary just to S.L.O.W.  D.O.W.N.

    Now, eighteen months post-menopause, I find myself reflecting.

    What did she teach me?

    She flagged up everything unresolved, unmet, and unchallenged.

    She showed me where I was still saying yes to others and no to myself.

    She taught me that I need more space than society finds comfortable.

    She helped me let go of beauty standards and gave me time for rest.

    She absolved me of guilt for not living according to others’ expectations.

    She reframed my symptoms as love letters from my inner child, calling me home to myself.

    About Sally Garozzo

    Sally Garozzo is a clinical hypnotherapist and curious explorer of the midlife and menopause transition inside her podcast The Menopause Mindset. After a winding journey through music, anxiety, and unexpected hormone chaos, she now helps others navigate their own transitions through hypnotherapy. Her passion is helping others reclaim agency over their lives during menopause and beyond. Visit her at sallygarozzo.com and on Instagram and Facebook.

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  • Why Dr. Tony Jacob Sees Texas Business Egos as Warning Signs

    Why Dr. Tony Jacob Sees Texas Business Egos as Warning Signs

    Everything’s bigger in Texas. Except business egos.  Dr. Tony Jacob figured this out the hard way after hundreds of investment deals and building a multi-million dollar healthcare network.  He’s now got a sixth sense about problematic temperaments, and they’re his number one red flag when sizing up potential partners. Ego Alert Ahead “The bigger the […]

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    Everything’s bigger in Texas.

    Except business egos. 

    Dr. Tony Jacob figured this out the hard way after hundreds of investment deals and building a multi-million dollar healthcare network. 

    He’s now got a sixth sense about problematic temperaments, and they’re his number one red flag when sizing up potential partners.

    Ego Alert Ahead

    “The bigger the egos, the more nonsense usually,” Dr. Tony Jacob says. He’s seen countless smart entrepreneurs flame out simply because they were too stubborn to take advice, couldn’t collaborate, or dug in their heels when the market shifted.

    Confidence absolutely matters in Texas business. But there’s a world of difference between confidence and egotism. Tony points out that even technically brilliant founders hit a ceiling fast when they lack self-awareness. They develop blind spots by shutting out feedback, eventually sabotaging their own success.

    The EQ Edge

    You know those super-smart people who somehow can’t keep a team together? Dr. Tony Jacob gets it. “I had zero emotional intelligence until I got married,” he admits. That personal wake-up call completely changed how he evaluates business potential.

    High-EQ leaders actually listen rather than just waiting for their turn to talk, admit mistakes, and fix them without drama. They also build teams with different strengths instead of hiring mini-mes, keep their cool during crises, and know when to take charge and when to back off.

    “Ambition and drive are important, but without the ability to listen, adapt, and grow, you’ll be doing it all alone,” Tony says. 

    The lone wolf genius might make for good TV, but real growth means bringing talented people along with you.

    The Beer Factor

    Here’s Dr. Tony Jacob’s deceptively simple investment filter: “If I like the person, their idea, and I can explain it in a sentence, I would probably invest.” There’s more wisdom packed into this casual approach than most 100-page investment theses.

    His “beer test” cuts through the fluff that formal evaluations miss. Would you actually enjoy hanging out with this person? Can they explain things clearly without resorting to jargon? Do they seem genuinely passionate beyond just making money?

    Years of experience taught him something crucial: people skills almost always trump raw intelligence in business. “People need room to own their work,” he notes. “If you set them up with the right tools and give them the trust they deserve, you’ll get results that far exceed what you’d achieve by constantly monitoring their every move.”

    When he’s checking out a potential investment, he pays close attention to how entrepreneurs treat their team. Do they share credit? Can they explain complex stuff without talking down to people? Do they own up when things go sideways? These everyday interactions tell him more than any business plan.

    True Power Comes From Humility

    The most successful Texas entrepreneurs Tony meets share something unexpected: genuine humility despite crushing it in business. Far from holding them back, this humility helps them push further. They’re always learning, they’re great at collaboration, and they build the kind of teams most companies only dream about.

    “When I trust my team to take charge, I can turn my attention to the bigger picture without constantly looking over my shoulder,” he explains. Relying on trust rather than micromanagement, he built an optometry network across multiple locations that maintained consistently excellent service.

    Real humility looks different than most people think. These successful entrepreneurs still ask for advice even after they’ve “made it,” surround themselves with people who bring different skills to the table, and set up their businesses to run smoothly even when they’re away for two weeks. They let their employees call the shots in their areas of expertise. And when they suck at something? They admit it and either learn or hire someone who’s better at it than they are.

    Proven Strategies Behind a Texas Million-Dollar Practice

    Discover how Dr. Tony Jacob scaled from one Texas clinic to 11 thriving locations statewide.

     

     

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  • Learning to Be Seen After a Childhood Spent Disappearing

    Learning to Be Seen After a Childhood Spent Disappearing

    “The habits you created to survive will no longer serve you when it’s time to thrive.” ~Eboni Davis

    I learned early how to measure the danger in a room. With a narcissistic mother, the air could shift in an instant—her tone slicing through me, reminding me that my feelings had no place.

    With an alcoholic stepfather, the threat was louder, heavier, and more unpredictable. I still remember the slam of bottles on the counter, the crack of his voice turning to fists, the way I would hold my breath in the dark, hoping the storm would pass without landing on …

    “The habits you created to survive will no longer serve you when it’s time to thrive.” ~Eboni Davis

    I learned early how to measure the danger in a room. With a narcissistic mother, the air could shift in an instant—her tone slicing through me, reminding me that my feelings had no place.

    With an alcoholic stepfather, the threat was louder, heavier, and more unpredictable. I still remember the slam of bottles on the counter, the crack of his voice turning to fists, the way I would hold my breath in the dark, hoping the storm would pass without landing on me.

    In that house, love wasn’t safe. Love was survival. And survival meant disappearing—making myself small, silent, and invisible so I wouldn’t take up too much space in a world already drowning in chaos.

    In a home like that, there was no space to simply be a child. My mother’s moods came first—her pain, her need for control. With her, I learned to hide the parts of myself that were “too much” because nothing I did was ever enough. With my stepfather, I learned to walk carefully, always scanning for danger, always bracing for the next eruption.

    So I became the quiet one. The peacekeeper. The invisible daughter who tried to keep the house from falling apart, even when it already was. I carried a weight far too heavy for my small shoulders, believing it was my job to make things okay, even though deep down, I knew I couldn’t.

    Those patterns didn’t stay in the walls of my childhood home; they followed me into adulthood. I carried silence like a second skin, disappearing in relationships whenever love began to feel unsafe. I learned to give until I was empty, to lose myself in caring for others, to believe that if I stayed quiet enough, small enough, I might finally be loved.

    But love that required me to vanish was never love at all. It was survival all over again. I found myself repeating the same patterns, choosing partners who mirrored the chaos I had grown up with, shutting down whenever I felt too much. I confused pain for love, silence for safety, and in doing so, I abandoned myself again and again.

    The cost was heavy: years of feeling invisible, unworthy, and unseen. Years of believing my voice didn’t matter, my needs were too much, and my story was something to hide.

    For a long time, I believed this was just who I was—invisible, unworthy, built to carry pain. But there came a night when even survival felt too heavy. I was sitting in the cold, in a tent I was calling home, with nothing but silence pressing in around me. The air was damp, my body shivering beneath thin blankets, every sound outside reminding me how unsafe and alone I felt.

    And for the first time, instead of disappearing into that silence, I whispered, “I can’t keep living like this.” The words were shaky, but they felt like a lifeline—the first honest thing I had said to myself in years.

    It wasn’t a dramatic transformation. Nothing changed overnight. But something inside me cracked open, a small ember of truth I hadn’t let myself feel before: I deserved more than this. I was worthy of more than surviving.

    That whisper became a seed. I started writing again, pouring the words I could never say onto paper. Slowly, those words became a lifeline—a way of reclaiming the voice I had silenced for so long. Every page reminded me that my story mattered, even if no one else had ever said it. And piece by piece, I began to believe it.

    Survival patterns protect us, but they don’t have to define us. For years, disappearing kept me safe. Staying quiet shielded me from conflict I couldn’t control. But surviving isn’t the same as living, and the patterns that once protected me no longer have to shape who I am becoming.

    Writing can be a way of reclaiming your voice. When I couldn’t speak, I wrote. Every sentence became proof that I existed, that my story was real, that I had something worth saying. Sometimes healing begins with a pen and a page—the simple act of letting your truth take shape outside of you.

    It is not selfish to take up space. Growing up, I believed my needs were too much, my presence a burden. But the truth is that we all deserve to be seen, to be heard, to take up space in the world without apology.

    We don’t have to heal alone. So much of my pain came from carrying everything in silence. Healing has taught me that there is strength in being witnessed, in letting others hold us when the weight is too much to carry by ourselves.

    I still carry the echoes of that house—the silence, the chaos, the parts of me that once believed I wasn’t worthy of love. But today, I hold them differently. They no longer define me; they remind me of how far I’ve come.

    I cannot change the family I was born into or the pain that shaped me. But I can choose how I grow from it. And that choice—to soften instead of harden, to speak instead of disappear, to heal instead of carry it all in silence—has changed everything.

    I am still learning, still growing, still coming home to myself. But I no longer disappear. I know now that my story matters—and so does yours.

    So I invite you to pause and ask yourself: Where have you mistaken survival for love? What parts of you have learned to stay silent, and what might happen if you gave them a voice?

    Even the smallest whisper of truth can be the beginning of a new life. Your story matters too. May you find the courage to stop surviving and begin truly living.

    May we all learn to take up space without apology, to speak our truths without fear, and to find safety not in silence, but in love.

    About Tracy Lynn

    Tracy Lynn is the founder of From Darkness We Grow, a healing space for those who carry emotional pain in silence. Through journals, courses, and her online community, The Healing Circle, she helps others reclaim their voice and remember their worth. Connect with Tracy at fromdarknesswegrow.com. You can also find support in The Healing Circle.

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  • Make Qatayif, Fabulous Arabian Stuffed Pancakes

    Make Qatayif, Fabulous Arabian Stuffed Pancakes

    Imagine a pancake stuffed with sweet cheese. You may dream that the pancake’s filled with nuts, instead. Then imagine it was drizzled with perfumed syrup while still warm. Garnish it, in your dream, with pistachios and whipped cream. You’re dreaming of qatayif, the fabulous, fabled, Arabian dessert. Qatayif – also spelled katayef or qatya’if – […]

    The post Make Qatayif, Fabulous Arabian Stuffed Pancakes appeared first on Green Prophet.

    qatayif

    Imagine a pancake stuffed with sweet cheese. You may dream that the pancake’s filled with nuts, instead. Then imagine it was drizzled with perfumed syrup while still warm. Garnish it, in your dream, with pistachios and whipped cream. You’re dreaming of qatayif, the fabulous, fabled, Arabian dessert.

    Qatayif – also spelled katayef or qatya’if – is traditionally eaten at Ramadan, but it’s a treat anytime. In fact, it’s a treat that’s gone through history.

    A recipe for qatayif appears in a tenth century Arabic cookbook by the writer Ibn Sayyar al-Warraq, who compiled recipes going back to the eighth and ninth centuries. People have been eating qatayif for a very long time.

    The filled pancakes are still popular in the Middle East. All over the Levant, people buy qatayif from bakeries and pastry shops, or pick some up from street vendors. They can even buy them frozen and ready to fry at home. So can you; if not at a local Middle Eastern grocery store, then online.

    But there’s nothing like home-made, although it does take some time and patience. Plan to cook qatayif on a free morning, or when you need to put your mind on something with gratifying results.

    First, make the batter. Choose a nut stuffing or a sweet cheese one (recipes below). Or halve each recipe and have both kinds.

    qatayif pancakes

    qatayif

    Print

    Qatayif, Stuffed Pancakes

    An Arabian Dessert
    Course Dessert
    Cuisine Arabic
    Keyword nut filling, pancake, sweet cheese filling
    Prep Time 2 hours 30 minutes
    Cook Time 15 minutes
    Servings 8 people

    Equipment

    • 1 Blender
    • 1 skillet

    Ingredients

    The Batter:

    • 1 teaspoon active dry yeast
    • 1 teaspoon sugar
    • 1-1/2 cups warm water
    • 1-1/2 all-purpose flour
    • 1/4 teaspoon salt
    • Vegetable oil for frying

    Nut filling:

    • 2 cups finely chopped toasted walnuts or almonds
    • 3 tablespoons granulated sugar
    • 1 teaspoon cinnamon
    • 2 tablespoons orange flower water not the concentrated essence
    • Mix thoroughly.
    • 1 tablespoon lemon juice

    Cheese Filling:

    • 13 oz. – 370 grams Mozzarella cheese packed in water
    • 4 tablespoons sugar
    • 2 teaspoons rose or orange flower water

    The Syrup

    • The Syrup:
    • 2-1/2 cups sugar
    • 2 cups water
    • 1 tablespoon lemon juice
    • 1-2 tablespoons rose or orange flower water

    The Garnish

    • 3 tablespoons finely chopped pistachios
    • Whipped cream

    Instructions

    Make the batter:

    • Put all ingredients in a blender until you have a smooth batter. Leave the batter in the blender.
    • Alternately, dissolve the yeast and sugar in the water; add the flour and salt and beat until smooth.
    • Cover the batter and leave at room temperature 1 hour. 2 hours is better if you have the time, to allow an appealing fermented flavor to develop.
    • While the batter is resting, make the filling and the syrup.

    Make the Nut Filling:

    • Mix thoroughly

    Make the Cheese Filling:

    • Drain the Mozzarella.
    • Put everything through the food processor to make a crumbly mass.

    Make the Syrup:

    • Boil the sugar, water, and lemon juice until thick enough to coat the back of a spoon, 5-8 minutes.
    • Add the flower water. Cook a few more seconds.
    • Cool the syrup then put it in the fridge.

    Fry and Fill The Qatayif

    • Blend the rested batter again for a minute, or whip it up if it’s in a bowl. This helps produce the characteristic little holes in the pancakes.
    • When the batter’s ready, take the syrup out of the fridge to have it ready.
    • Oil a frying pan, preferably non-stick. Start with high heat, then reduce to medium.
    • Pour about 2 tablespoons batter into the pan. Tilt the pan around to spread the batter into a circle, or gently push the batter into a circle shape with the back of a spoon. This is the first, experimental pancake, from which you’ll judge if the temperature is right or needs adjusting. It’s also practice for making the pancake circle. An oval is OK.
    • Let the pancake cook until it’s spongy, pocked with bubbles, and detaches from the pan easily. This is done in a few minutes. The bottom may be pale or golden according to your preference. Do not flip the pancake over.
    • Transfer the pancakes to a platter and cover with a kitchen towel to keep them pliable.
    • Fill the center of each pancake with about 2 tablespoons of your chosen filling.
    • Fold it over to make a half-circle.
    • Press the edges together well, to keep the filling inside while frying.
    • Heat oil to the depth of 1/2” – 1 cm. in a skillet.
    • Fry the qatayif on all sides until golden, 2-3 minutes altogether. Some prefer a darker color, but take care not to over-cook because that will harden the qatayif.
    • Put the qatayif on a rack to drain or set them on paper towels.
    • Dip them in the syrup with tongs or a long spoon while they’re hot. Let the excess syrup drip off. .
    • (A tip from the modern pantry: skip the boiled syrup and use your favorite pancake syrup to drizzle generously over the hot qatayif.)
    • Garnish with finely chopped pistachios and/or whipped cream. Pass any extra syrup around for those who want more.

    Eat, and drift off to qatayif heaven.

    Photos by Laila Ibrahim via Serious Eats.

    The post Make Qatayif, Fabulous Arabian Stuffed Pancakes appeared first on Green Prophet.